We presented our treatment to Mr Hood and had a very lengthy discussion about it. It was said that there were no actual issues with our treatment, however, after discussion we have decided to add a back story to the father. We want to imply to the audience that he is a dangerous man without using dialogue, therefore we are going to add a scene at the start with him walking out of a prison, however, we will have to pick costumes carefully to show that he is in fact an ex-prisoner rather than a prison officer.
Mr.Hoods opinion is important because he is going to be marking our work, and has had a lot of experience with with media and work before, as a result of his feedback we have changed our treatment so that the plot is easier to understand and the film will be easier to produce.
Monday 30 January 2012
Wednesday 25 January 2012
Treatment
A TREATMENT FOR A TWO MINUTE OPENING
By
Rebecca Wheeler
Dean Turner
Laura Gardiner
Jess Jones
January, 2012
Present.
United Kingdom.
Small village.
Late Afternoon.
A MIDDLE AGED MAN, wearing black trousers and a black hooded coat walks past a poorly lit secondary school. He walks into a garden opposite the school, mysteriously gazing at the entrance.
A group of mixed sex TEENAGERS walk out of the school gates, gripping their folders. Laughing and joking about detentions, they wave bye to one of the TEENAGE GIRLS as she is walking in the other direction over to her STEPDADS red car which is waiting to pick her up.
As the TEENAGE GIRL is walking up to the car she suddenly feels eerie as though somebody is watching her. She is correct; the MIDDLE AGED MAN is in fact peering at her through the bushes in the garden opposite the school. He is trying to be quiet, although unable to control his heavy breathing.
Seeing the GIRL draw closer to the car, the STEPDAD angrily gets out, clutching a letter from the school. He starts shouting at her “Another Detention” “I didn’t raise you like this”. The TEENAGE GIRL now forgets about the weird feeling she had just felt as she is more concerned about arguing back with her STEPDAD. Voices are raised and arms are flung about as the argument progresses.
The MIDDLE AGED MAN watches on, his breathing increasing, as he starts to have a flashback. His flashback consists of a YOUNGER VERSION OF HIMSELF being shown a painting done by a LITTLE GIRL at school, the LITTLE GIRL being a younger version of the TEENAGE GIRL. “Daddy Daddy, look what I did at school”. It is at this point we realise that the MIDDLE AGED MAN is actually the TEENAGE GIRLS real DAD.
Then the MOTHER of the GIRL walks down the stairs, struggling to carry two suitcases. She looks angry and has quite obviously been crying as she has mascara running down her young fresh face. “We’re leaving”. The GIRL cries as the mother drags her out of the house, she desperately stares at her dad confused and distraught. This is the moment that his daughter was taken away from him.
The DADS flashback ends and he once again witnesses the argument between the GIRL and her STEPDAD. The argument becomes ever more intense and the volume of their shrieking voices multiplies, until abruptly, the DAD hears the GIRL call the STEPDAD “Dad”. This is all too much to handle for the DAD, his heart begins to pound louder and louder. His breathing becomes heavier and he becomes enraged…
By
Rebecca Wheeler
Dean Turner
Laura Gardiner
Jess Jones
January, 2012
Present.
United Kingdom.
Small village.
Late Afternoon.
A MIDDLE AGED MAN, wearing black trousers and a black hooded coat walks past a poorly lit secondary school. He walks into a garden opposite the school, mysteriously gazing at the entrance.
A group of mixed sex TEENAGERS walk out of the school gates, gripping their folders. Laughing and joking about detentions, they wave bye to one of the TEENAGE GIRLS as she is walking in the other direction over to her STEPDADS red car which is waiting to pick her up.
As the TEENAGE GIRL is walking up to the car she suddenly feels eerie as though somebody is watching her. She is correct; the MIDDLE AGED MAN is in fact peering at her through the bushes in the garden opposite the school. He is trying to be quiet, although unable to control his heavy breathing.
Seeing the GIRL draw closer to the car, the STEPDAD angrily gets out, clutching a letter from the school. He starts shouting at her “Another Detention” “I didn’t raise you like this”. The TEENAGE GIRL now forgets about the weird feeling she had just felt as she is more concerned about arguing back with her STEPDAD. Voices are raised and arms are flung about as the argument progresses.
The MIDDLE AGED MAN watches on, his breathing increasing, as he starts to have a flashback. His flashback consists of a YOUNGER VERSION OF HIMSELF being shown a painting done by a LITTLE GIRL at school, the LITTLE GIRL being a younger version of the TEENAGE GIRL. “Daddy Daddy, look what I did at school”. It is at this point we realise that the MIDDLE AGED MAN is actually the TEENAGE GIRLS real DAD.
Then the MOTHER of the GIRL walks down the stairs, struggling to carry two suitcases. She looks angry and has quite obviously been crying as she has mascara running down her young fresh face. “We’re leaving”. The GIRL cries as the mother drags her out of the house, she desperately stares at her dad confused and distraught. This is the moment that his daughter was taken away from him.
The DADS flashback ends and he once again witnesses the argument between the GIRL and her STEPDAD. The argument becomes ever more intense and the volume of their shrieking voices multiplies, until abruptly, the DAD hears the GIRL call the STEPDAD “Dad”. This is all too much to handle for the DAD, his heart begins to pound louder and louder. His breathing becomes heavier and he becomes enraged…
Saturday 21 January 2012
Film Idea
New Idea
We have came up with a new idea which will be alot easier and less confusing than the old one. We have solved the problems of location and characters as the new idea will be set just outside the school gates and will involve teenagers, which are easier to find as actors than adults.
The idea of our new film is as follows...
A girl being watched by a man whilst walking out of an after school detention with her friends, she leaves her friends to approach her stepdad waiting for her. The man watching her is in fact her real dad who keeps having flashbacks of his time with the daughter before her mother left him. The teenage girl has an argument with her stepdad, the whole time her real dad is watching, causing him to become enraged.
We believe that this new idea will be easier to film and that the audience will understand the situation the characters are in. We also believe that by choosing this idea over our old one we will end up with a better quality film. We have discussed our new idea with Mr Hood and he agrees that it will be easier and we will have a better outcome
We have came up with a new idea which will be alot easier and less confusing than the old one. We have solved the problems of location and characters as the new idea will be set just outside the school gates and will involve teenagers, which are easier to find as actors than adults.
The idea of our new film is as follows...
A girl being watched by a man whilst walking out of an after school detention with her friends, she leaves her friends to approach her stepdad waiting for her. The man watching her is in fact her real dad who keeps having flashbacks of his time with the daughter before her mother left him. The teenage girl has an argument with her stepdad, the whole time her real dad is watching, causing him to become enraged.
We believe that this new idea will be easier to film and that the audience will understand the situation the characters are in. We also believe that by choosing this idea over our old one we will end up with a better quality film. We have discussed our new idea with Mr Hood and he agrees that it will be easier and we will have a better outcome
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